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4 Ways to Motivate Kids Who “Hate” Math

Crystal Paul

Does your kid hate math? Teachers hear this frequently and it stems from a variety of factors – challenges in understanding math concepts, math anxiety, and even overhearing remarks their parents make about their own disdain for math. It can be frustrating when your child vocalizes their hatred for any subject – especially when they decide it’s “too hard” or “too confusing” and start to opt out of doing their homework or worse, their classwork. As parents, you wield a significant influence over how your children perceive challenges but if you’re here, you’re likely a little lost on how to fix or solve this problem. Lucky for you, there are four great ways you can help your middle schooler shift their perspective on math listed below. Ready? Let’s dive in!

4 Ways to Motivate Kids Who “Hate” Math
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Help them cultivate a growth mindset…in math

Before you come for me and ask if we’re all in therapy or not, remember that overcoming challenges begins with tackling a fixed mindset and cultivating a growth mindset overall…not just in math. Children, like adults, can fall into the trap of believing their abilities are fixed. This belief is particularly detrimental when it comes to math, a subject that builds on itself. When a child says they hate math, it’s often a sign of frustration or the fear of not being “good” at it.

How to Help

Encourage a growth mindset and emphasize effort over innate ability. Here’s how you do it:

Reframe mistakes and bad grades from something negative to something you can learn from.

This means mistakes become learning opportunities for growth. Everyone makes mistakes and every person on the planet fails at something in their lifetime – how you look at failure makes all the difference! If your child makes mistakes on a test, use it as an opportunity to work with them on where the mistakes were made and how to course-correct.

Shift the mindset from “I can’t do math” and “I suck at math” to “math is hard but I can do hard things”.

Math doesn’t come naturally to most people and both children and adults can fall into a routine of being so hard on themselves that they perpetuate a negative narrative in their heads. The words you use when your child voices frustration with math matter! Choose your words wisely and start talking to your child about reframing their view when you hear them say negative things about themselves.
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Watch how you speak about yourself when you’re around your kids.

Children are like sponges and they absorb everything so speak about yourself kindly, with compassion and respect. You’ll see your child start to do the same thing because you’ve modeled it for them.

Address math anxiety head-on!

Math anxiety is a real thing and it can lead to some very bad habits in a child’s academic career. It’s also a significant barrier to enjoying and understanding math. In truth, when kids have anxiety over a subject in school, they tend to spend more time focusing on the anxiety, which eats up their brain space making it almost impossible for them to focus on the subject they’re anxious about. It becomes a vicious cycle that can lead to avoidance behaviors, which only exacerbates the problem.

How to Help

Create a calm and positive environment when working on math at home. This isn’t news but you need to avoid expressing your frustrations or disdain for the subject — children pick up on these cues. Instead, approach math problems as puzzles to solve together, celebrating the process rather than just the outcome. If you notice signs of anxiety, take breaks and encourage your child to express what they’re feeling. Sometimes, just talking about their fears can help diminish them. In addition, consider utilizing mindfulness when you see their anxieties rising and go back to point #1 to practice a growth mindset.

Make math relevant and fun

One common reason kids dislike math is that they don’t see its relevance to their lives. It can feel abstract and disconnected from their everyday experiences. Remember, math doesn’t always need to be practiced with a sheet of paper and a pencil. You can make math fun at home, too…you just need to make it more relevant to your middle schooler. And, you need to make it seem less like instruction and more game-like.

How to Help

Find ways to connect math to interests or daily activities. Cooking, for example, is full of mathematical concepts like measurements and fractions. If they love sports, delve into statistics about their favorite players or teams. For something more direct, introduce math games that reinforce concepts in a playful manner. The goal is to show that math isn’t just numbers on a page—it’s everywhere, and it’s exciting.

card games can make math fun

Hire a middle school math tutor

Educators know that middle school math isn’t easy – even for parents. We get that! Sometimes, having someone with a specialty in middle school math work with your child can make a world of difference. A tutor specializing in middle school math can provide personalized attention, identify gaps in understanding, and introduce concepts in a way that makes sense to your child.

How to Help

Not all tutors are made equal. Some are teachers who opt to tutor as a side-gig while others are former teachers who love tutoring and watching those “AHA!” moments happen. Some only practice in-person while others are virtual middle school math tutors. Identifying whether your child needs in-person vs online is largely based on your child and their capabilities. 

Finding a tutor who can help you and your child accomplish goals is only part of that battle. The rest lies in how well the tutor can teach your child that math is not only manageable but also enjoyable. Look for someone who doesn’t just know middle school math, they should know how to make it engaging. If you’re looking for online math tutoring for your middle schooler, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me to learn how I may be able to help. 

Let’s get creative!

Changing a child’s perspective on math requires patience, understanding, and a bit of creativity. We’re talking about more than just improving grades; we’re talking about helping them see math in a new light. By addressing math anxiety, fostering a growth mindset, making math relevant, and (possibly) enlisting the help of a tutor, you can turn “I hate math” into “Math doesn’t suck” or even “Math is fun!” Remember, your attitude towards math greatly influences your child’s. Let’s show them that math isn’t something to fear, but a subject full of puzzles waiting to be solved.

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About the Author

Crystal Paul

As an educator with a Masters in Special Education and 18 years of experience teaching math to middle school students, I specialize in helping those who find math challenging. I prioritize not only identifying but also closing any learning gaps, while building conceptual understanding and fostering confidence and independence in mathematics. My goal is to empower students and to transform their relationship with math.

Let's Learn Together!

I’m on a mission to empower students to embrace challenges and cultivate a belief in themselves that they can learn and grow! If you’re ready to help your middle schooler rewrite the narrative around their math education, schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn how virtual math tutoring can help.